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Building
a Trusting Relationship Starts In Infancy
As parents, we want to give our children many advantages. We
would like to provide them with material possessions, to ensure
their physical health, and to help them develop into well-adjusted
adults. Starting your child on the way to becoming a healthy and
happy adult starts in infancy.
Current research supports the idea that forming a secure
attachment is a critical part of an infant's development and later
adjustment. An infant's attachment to other caregivers is also
important, and seems to be separate from the infant-parent bond.
Parents and other caregivers have many opportunities to help the
infants in their care develop positive attachments early.
Touch--including cuddling, fondling, and holding--greatly increases
positive attachment to the parent. This can be practiced anytime,
such as when the infant is transported from one room to another or
waiting in line at a store or doctor's office. The following are
suggested opportunities for a parent to start building a trusting
relationship with his or her infant:
Feeding Time
When breastfeeding, the mother has the opportunity to hold her
infant for extended periods of time. Formula feeding should also
involve holding the infant. Putting the child in a hard infant
carrier for infant feedings detracts from the attachment process.
Feedings are wonderful opportunities to bond with infants by gently
cuddling, stroking, and gazing into their eyes while they nurse.
Diaper Changing
Develop trust while changing your infant's diapers? Certainly!
This is an opportunity to provide a basic need for your infant. The
more comfortable he or she is, the happier he or she will be. Think
how difficult it is for an adult to have positive feelings when they
are uncomfortable. By quickly identifying and taking care of this
basic need, the infant stays comfortable and you prevent him or her
from developing diaper rash. Diaper changing is also a great time to
socialize with your infant. Talking to your child in a gentle,
friendly way makes the time more pleasant for you both.
Body Massage
A light body massage after lying in one position for an extended
period can make an infant feel calmer or excite him or her. A light
slow massage or gentle back patting can relax an infant and even put
him or her to sleep. More active--although always gentle--massages
can excite him or her and encourage body movement. Some parents find
enjoyment in participating in movement programs designed for the
parent and infant.
Facial Expressions
Smiling and eye contact are a critical part of your infant's
experience. Allow your baby to focus on your face several times a
day. He or she needs to recognize his or her parent by sight as well
as touch and smell.
Speech
Your voice can also be a positive influence on your infant.
Hearing familiar positive sounds will assure your infant that you
are close. You can do this when activities, such as dressing,
cooking, or caring for others, prevent you from holding your infant.
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