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Are You Stressing Your Child Out?
Most often during the middle childhood years, children feel
pressures from a number of sources. They may feel pressure from
within themselves, from parents, from teachers and peers, and from
society. Children must respond to and adapt to these pressures.
Children typically welcome some events, while others are more
difficult for them to take on. As children continue to grow, they
may be more able to express opinions and concerns about their
activities. Early in the middle childhood years, however, a child's
commitment and stress level often are controlled by a parent or
adult.
Young school-age children will sometimes express their feelings
directly. Some children, however, may internalize stress and show it
through sadness, depression, or withdrawal. Other children may
express feelings of stress outwardly and begin to misbehave.
Signs of Overcommitment
Stress is a part of life and growing up, but adults need to keep
a watchful eye on children and intervene when they sense something
is undermining a child's physical or psychological well-being.
Here are some signs that stress may be having a negative impact
on a child:
- The child develops physical symptoms, such as headaches and
stomach pains.
- The child seems restless, tired, and agitated.
- The child appears depressed and will not
communicate how he or she feels.
Helping the Child Cope
Once a child becomes involved in an activity, it is important
that the parent be supportive, but not pushy. A parent can offer
praise and show interest by attending the activity, but allow the
child the opportunity to change interests based on his or her
desires.
When children are younger, they commonly need help balancing
their activities. As a parent, observe your child. Ultimately, you
are responsible for him or her. You can help by offering suggestions
as needed and guarding against becoming too committed to the
activities to notice a change in your child's behavior.
Here are some ideas to try:
Help your child evaluate activities that are producing a problem.
For example, is it a problem with the action itself or something
associated with the action, such as a friend who is there?
If your child has too little free time, help him or her change
his or her schedule to make time for relaxation and play.
Spend time together every day, even if it is only ten or fifteen
minutes. This shared time will help you better understand your
child's needs and give your child the confidence sometimes needed to
tell a parent he or she wants to quit an activity.
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