Improving Communication With Your Children

One of the most important parenting practices is good communication. Communication is especially important during adolescence, when old patterns of communicating may have to be altered to fit the growing needs and capabilities of your adolescent.

Strive to create an atmosphere in which all family members are free to discuss whatever topics they need to discuss. Flexibility in family communication allows the adolescent to express himself or herself. By developing and using good communication skills, sensitive issues that arise during adolescence can be discussed with greater comfort and success.

Finding time to communicate with your teen may prove to be a challenge in today's busy world. Devoting just a few minutes a day to listening actively to your teen is a good place to start. Arrange a time when you are both free to talk about the day. Remember, it is important to let your adolescent share without him or her feeling pressured into sharing.

Guidelines for Effective Communication

In order to solve family problems, it is important to be able to discuss them openly. Effective communication involves both listening and speaking. Good listeners show an interest in what the other person is saying. Consider the following guidelines, and how you might use them to improve your family communication skills.

1. Draw a mental picture of what the other person is saying

   Ask questions to help you complete the picture in your mind. This will let the other person know that you are taking an interest in his or her topic.

2. Learn something new from the speaker

   Take the role of the student, so that your adolescent becomes the teacher.

3. Stay focused on the other person

   Do not use this time to interrupt with one of your own stories.

4. Be an active listener

   An active listener summarizes the speaker's statements to check for understanding. Ask questions to keep the conversation moving. By asking for more details, you will help to stay focused on the topic.

5. Match the speaker's emotional state, unless it is hostile

   You will help the speaker feel accepted if you match his or her mood. This also shows empathy, or reassurance that you understand and can identify with the speaker.

6. Withhold advice unless you are asked to give it

   Hear the other person out. Do not interrupt or add your opinions until the speaker has finished. Your job is to listen with understanding, not make judgment calls.

7. Put yourself in the other person's shoes

   Try to understand your adolescent's perspective. This shows that you respect his or her point of view, even though you may not agree with it.

8. Think before you speak

   You may want to count to ten before you respond. This will create an opportunity for you to compose yourself and avoid a heated discussion.

9. Encourage the other person

   Even when discussing sensitive or emotionally charged topics, let your adolescent know that you still care about him or her. Think of something you like about him or her.

Sponsor: Obtain health insurance quotes for affordable health coverage for the family

© 2002-2005 Healthy Parenting Today All Rights Reserved.