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Discipline Techniques That Work
No one discipline technique works with every type of misbehavior.
A parent needs to learn and be equipped with many discipline tools
to guide their child's behavior successfully. Here are several
strategies that may be helpful.
Time Out
Time out is a technique used to interrupt an unacceptable
behavior by removing the child from the situation where the
misbehavior is occurring. Before using time out the child must
understand the concepts of "waiting" and "quiet;" this usually
occurs by age 3. The time out location selected should be a quiet,
dull place devoid of activity. Preschool age children should be
placed in an area where you can see them at all times. Children
should be expected to stay in the time out for no more than one
minute per year of age--for example, a four year old would be given
four minutes. Explain the time out procedure ahead of time. Walk the
younger child through the procedure until he or she understands.
Time the quiet time only (not the time spent whining, yelling, or
crying). When the time is up, explain to the child again what
behavior is appropriate and allow him or her to return to the
activity. Praise the child for using appropriate behavior.
Setting Boundaries
Children need to have reasonable boundaries placed on their
behaviors. Boundaries help prevent misbehavior by setting limits for
a child. Limits are important rules a family decides on that are
necessary to protect the child and others from physical and
psychological harm and to protect property. An example would be,
"You are never allowed to play in the street because you might get
hit by a car. You may play in the backyard."
Distraction or Redirection
When a child is about to start or already engaged in a behavior
that you do not want, stop the child and redirect his attention to a
more desirable activity. Calmly stop the behavior, explain why, then
substitute another activity. If a toddler is banging the toy truck
on the floor, for example, gently take the truck away and offer a
softer toy that will not hurt the floor or anyone else nearby. If an
older child is running dangerously through the house, explain that
he could hurt himself or someone else by running. Ask if he would
like to go outside where he can run, or ask if he would prefer to
play a board game with you.
Assisted Compliance
Assisted compliance in an unsafe situation involves physically
helping the child to do what you have requested. It involves three
steps:
- Remind the child of the rule, "You do not jump on the bed."
- Give a choice, "You may sit on the bed or you may jump on the
floor."
- If the child does not do as requested, physically assist him
to do so. For example, gently take the child from the bed and
place him on the floor. You may need to repeat these steps several
times before the child cooperates.
Assisted compliance in a dangerous situation involves giving a
clear command, physically assisting the child to do what you said,
then explaining and offering choices for future use. For example, if
a child ran into the street after a ball, you would sternly command
the child to stop and physically stop her. After she is out of
danger, explain that she could get hurt running into the street. Ask
her to come and get you the next time her ball rolls into the
street.
Natural and Logical Consequences
The use of consequences can help children learn that unpleasant
things happen to them as a direct result of their choices or
misbehavior. Children will learn to take responsibility for their
actions.
Consequences may happen naturally or they can be decided by the
parent. An example of a natural consequence would be the
hunger resulting when a child does not eat his lunch. He may have to
endure the discomfort of hunger pains until snack or dinner time. An
example of a logical consequence would be a twelve-year-old
girl losing her phone privileges for a week after abusing her phone
privileges. An abuse of privileges may be talking on the phone for
45 minutes when the limit is 15 minutes.
Keep the following points in mind when enforcing consequences.
- Tell the child what the consequences are before he or she
breaks the rule.
- Relate the consequence directly to the misbehavior.
- The consequence must occur each time the misbehavior does.
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