|
Monitoring Your Children's Lives
To be effective, parents need to be involved in their children's
lives. While this is important at each stage of development, parents
need to be especially concerned during adolescence, when their teens
strive to gain greater freedom and independence.
Monitoring means keeping track of your adolescent. This practice
entails being able to answer these four questions at all times: 1)
Who is your teen with? 2) Where is he or she? 3) What is he or she
doing? and 4) When will he or she be home? As soon as this practice
becomes habit, monitoring can serve as a foundation to build other
parenting skills.
Talk with Your Teen
Monitoring means being involved in your teen's life. It includes
being an interested, active listener. Just by listening to the
accounts of your adolescent's day, you can show him that you
genuinely care about what happens to him. It may only take 15
minutes a day of your undivided attention to learn about your
adolescent's daily events.
Manage Your Teen's Freedom
As teens learn the process of managing freedom, parents need to
monitor their progress. Adolescents should earn their right to more
freedom. With freedom comes the responsibility to endure the
consequences of choices. As teens demonstrate responsibility at one
level of freedom, parents can help them move to the next level by
giving a little more freedom. For example, before your adolescent
can stay home alone during the weekend, you may want to have some
practice runs during the week. If your adolescent can handle shorter
periods of time, such as one evening alone, then he or she may be
ready to move to the next level.
Set Clear Guidelines
Even though they can handle more responsibility than younger
children, teens still need some boundaries and limits. It is
important that teens know exactly what is expected of them. After
discussing the rules, you may even want to write them down to avoid
discrepancy over what was said.
Stay in Touch with Your Teen
If your children are supposed to be home at a certain time, plan
to be home at the same time. If you can't be there, call to check on
them or have a trusted neighbor check on them. Unsupervised children
are less likely to get into trouble if parents keep in touch with
them.
Set a Good Example
When you go out, let your children know where you are going, how
long you'll be gone, and a number where they may reach you. This
provides an excellent role model of considerate behavior.
Talk with Your Teen's Teachers
Find out how classes are going, and what problems your teen might
be having.
Meet Your Teen's Friends
Much of your teen's behavior will be influenced by his or her
peer group. Studies have shown that adolescents who have a lot of
unsupervised time on their hands are at risk for developing deviant
peer groups. Under the influence of deviant peers, your teen could
develop a variety of problem behaviors. Get to know your child's
friends; better yet, get to know the parents of your child's
friends. Both are a valuable source of information.
All adolescents will try new experiences, and even make some
mistakes. That is why it is up to parents to provide them with the
experiences that will help them make the right decisions when
influenced by peers. Monitoring does take a parent's energy, time,
and attention, but the outcomes are well worth the effort!
Sponsor: Obtain health insurance quotes for affordable health coverage for the
family
| 
