Strong Marriage Relationship Key to Healthy Parenting

The qualities of the relationship between a husband and wife affect their children's cognitive and social competence. Some psychologists believe that the marital relationship provides the primary physical, emotional, and physical support for parents. As a result, the relationship that exists in the marital relationship affects the couple's parenting behaviors, which in turn impacts the adjustment of the children. 

Couples who do not feel supported in the marital relationship may have lower self-esteem and interact differently with their children than their counterparts who have warm, responsive relationships. This seems to hold true regardless of whether a family's oldest child is preschool age or in the nine to 13-year-old range.

A Spouse's Informal Support

Spouses can support each other in several ways:

Emotional Assistance

Spouses can act as potential reservoirs for love and affection, providing both comfort and emotional security for one another. Often self-esteem is bolstered and a sense of efficacy exists.

Tangible Help

It is no secret that child-rearing can be very demanding. However, spouses can provide important tangible assistance for one another. Sharing household chores, child care, work-related tasks, family and friendship obligations, and community responsibilities reduces individual stress loads and provides mutual support.

Developing a Strong Marital Relationship

Develop Family Rituals

Developing family rituals provides meaning for family interactions and helps clarify roles and responsibilities within the family. Family rituals can be anything from religious observances, such as a child's first communion, to daily interactions, such as how family members greet one another when someone returns home. Creating and maintaining family rituals on a daily basis is an important part of family life.

Listen When Communicating

Many people want nothing more than the person they care most about to really listen to them. Give your partner focused attention so he or she knows his or her comments are top priority. Listen with an attitude of acceptance and willingness to understand. Listen with an attitude that seeks clarification. You may need to ask questions or paraphrase to be assured you have the correct meaning of the message being sent.

Retain the Passion

A satisfying marriage relationship grows best when a couple nurtures sexual intimacy. The sexual relationship can flourish when the couple creates companionship, makes a lasting commitment, and deepens their passion for one another.

Resolve Conflict

Inevitably, even the best marriages face conflict. When one spouse has been offended by the other, rather than letting a wall go up between the two of them, they must confront the conflict. Usually, resolving conflict requires both seeking forgiveness and granting forgiveness. The final process is working toward reconciliation and rebuilding trust with your partner.

Parents who are concerned about the cognitive and social development of their children can devote their first energies to developing a strong marriage relationship.

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